#he's gay but go off I guess marvel

[fratttymatty]

All Bleached Up

(All characters are 18+)

It was a crisp Saturday morning when five friends—Eli, Max, Simon, Oliver, and Noah—ambled toward "Luminous Lux Spa" in downtown Portland. The group, all 25 years old, shared many commonalities. They were unabashed nerds, fanatical about RPGs, sci-fi marathons, and lengthy debates about quantum mechanics over artisanal coffee. Athleticism had never been their thing, nor was blending into the mainstream. Each identified as gay, content with their identities, but also mutually perplexed by how the world so often seemed to pass them by.

The spa trip had been Simon’s idea, a whimsical response to an internet ad promising “transformative rejuvenation” through luxury hair treatments. The rest of the group laughed it off at first, but as they joked about who would look best with frosted tips, the plan stuck. Bleaching their hair sounded fun and absurd—an ironic experiment to kickstart the new year.

As they checked into the spa, an elegant attendant guided them toward a sleek, dimly lit room that smelled faintly of lavender and ozone. They each settled into cushioned chairs as hair stylists went to work on their heads. The bleaching process began, with foils and thick pastes applied liberally. There was a sense of giddy rebellion as they watched their dark locks begin to lighten.

None of them could have guessed what was coming next.

The first oddity was the heat. As the bleach set in, each of them began to feel an intense warmth—not painful, but almost electrical, like a current buzzing just beneath their scalps. Simon, who had been midway through explaining the intricacies of a D&D subclass, suddenly stopped speaking. His usually quick, articulate thoughts felt… fuzzy. Across the room, Oliver scratched his arm and mumbled something about feeling “kinda... weird.”

Then it hit them all at once. A blinding white flash filled the room, and the world seemed to tilt sideways. In an instant, the chairs beneath them felt too small, their clothes too tight. Muscles swelled, skin smoothed, and voices deepened in a chorus of surprised groans. By the time the light faded, the five friends were unrecognizable.

Eli, now Ethan, blinked in the mirror and grinned. His newly muscular frame filled out his formerly baggy hoodie, and he grinned as he caught sight of his mullet. The messy layers cascaded down the back of his neck, while the front stayed perfectly tousled. He ran a hand through it, noticing how soft it felt, then flexed his bicep for no reason other than how cool it looked. “Bro, this is... sick,” he said, his voice several octaves lower and tinged with confidence he’d never known before.

Max, now Mason, was already admiring his buzzcut. The clean, sharp lines accentuated his chiselled jaw and strong cheekbones. He stood up and stretched, marvelling at how tall he suddenly was. “Dude, I feel... awesome,” he laughed, the word “awesome” rolling off his tongue like a mantra.

Simon had become Shawn. His short, straight middle part framed his now angular face perfectly. He tilted his head from side to side, checking out his reflection and smirking. “Yo, I look hot,” he said, running his fingers through the soft, silky strands of his new hair.

Oliver, now Cody, had traded his glasses and wiry frame for a broad chest and messy, spiked hair. He ruffled it playfully, delighted by how effortlessly cool it looked. “This is, like, next-level,” he said, his former eloquence replaced with a casual, almost lazy cadence.

Finally, Noah—now Nate— his platinum-blonde hair—wavy and flowing with a casually styled middle part—gave him the look of a model straight out of a teen drama “Hell yeah,” he said, flexing his shoulders and cracking his neck. “I look like a beast.”

As they stared at their reflections, a strange calm washed over them. Their former selves—nerdy, awkward, gay 25-year-olds—felt like distant memories, as if they’d read about those lives in some book they barely remembered. The idea of going back didn’t even cross their minds. Why would it? This was so much better.

When they left the spa, the group barely recognized the world around them—or maybe the world didn’t recognize them. Their old habits and quirks had melted away, replaced by the easy swagger of high school jocks who owned every room they walked into.

Ethan, the leader of the group, quickly found himself the captain of the high school soccer team. His wavy, platinum hair and sculpted jawline made him the talk of the school, and it wasn’t long before he started dating Maia, a bubbly blonde cheerleader who adored how confident and protective he was. She was a total ditz, always giggling and clinging to his arm, but Ethan didn’t mind. They were perfect together.

Mason, with his buzzcut and sharp edges, joined the wrestling team, where his natural strength and newfound aggression made him unstoppable. He caught the eye of Brittany, a loud, flirtatious cheerleader with a penchant for blowing pink bubblegum. Brittany adored how strong Mason was and constantly bragged about him to her squad. The two became inseparable, their conversations rarely deep but always full of laughter.

Shawn’s sleek, short middle part and smoldering gaze earned him the nickname “Pretty Boy.” He became the go-to guy for advice on dating (despite never thinking too hard about it himself) and ended up with Tiffany, an overly dramatic cheerleader who spent most of her time obsessing over her nails and selfies. Shawn found her giggles and constant texting endearing and loved how she’d lean on him during lunch.

Cody’s messy spikes gave him a carefree, rebellious vibe that made him a magnet for attention. He became the star quarterback, and his cocky grin was enough to win over Jessica, the ditziest of all the cheerleaders, who rarely remembered what class she had next. She loved cheering for him from the sidelines, and Cody thought her cluelessness was adorable.

Nate, with his mullet and devil-may-care attitude, joined the skateboarding crowd. He started dating Amber, a thrill-seeking blonde cheerleader whose giggles always followed her daring stunts. She wasn’t the brightest, but she matched Nate’s chaotic energy perfectly, and the two were constantly laughing as they pulled off ridiculous pranks.

By the end of the week, the five friends had fully embraced their new lives. They had no memory of “Eli,” “Max,” “Simon,” “Oliver,” or “Noah,” and even if they did, it wouldn’t have mattered. Their days were now filled with sports practices, bonfires, and parties, not late-night coding sessions or board games.

The spa had delivered on its promise: transformative rejuvenation. It just happened to transform them into something they never could have expected—and they wouldn’t have it any other way.

[hotluncheddie]

For the @steddie-spooktober day 20 prompt : cryptid

rated: T | cw: none | tags: flirting, Robin Buckley, idiot 4 idiot

👋👋👋👋

Eddie swings his legs from his perch on the counter of family video, basically his second home at this point.

(His budding (major) crush on one resident of his new home none withstanding. And the way the new trailer is just, way too quiet, and fucking eerie; is also none withstanding.)

‘No but the lock ness monster is totally real, like why else would all those scientists be snooping around there otherwise.’ Eddie says, arguing over dumb shit with Robin is a real pull for his second home.

‘You ever think there might be other scientific discoveries to find there? Maybe pretending there’s a big monster helps them get funding?’ She says, scribbling little black eyes on her napkin ghosts and threading them so steve can hang them up around the store. It’s technically against policy but since Steve basically runs the place now, they think it’ll be fine.

Eddie flaps his hand at her, much too realistic for his liking. ‘Pffff as if! Ste-‘

‘No.’ Steve cuts in, voice a little strained as he stretches to hook a piece of string. ‘I want no part of this.’

Eddie lets it go, much more distracted by the line of Steve’s body as he reaches, perched on his little step stool. ‘Now big foot on the other hand, that’s something I know you can get behind Bobbie.’

‘Some hairy guy with big feed running around a forest? I mean, I guess, it’s not my favourite though.’

Eddie sighs, a little wistful. He, personally, would love a little time in the woods with a big hairy guy.

A balled up napkin hits him in the head. ‘Stop being so gay in my store.’ Robin says.

‘Big feet. Big hands too, what more could a guy ask for.’ He says to himself, leering a little at Steve.

‘You know what they say about big feet.’ Steve says offhandedly, with a shrug and a dorky wink. Then he walks off into the back room for more string - leaving Eddie to bang his head against the counter and groan until Robin asks him to take it outside.

👋👋👋👋

Tag list : @scoops-aboy86 @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @pearynice @marvel-ous-m @thecatkingsthrone

@cheesedoctor @chickensinrainboots @chameleonhair

[bigmpregnm]

Enjoy the Ride - Part 2

[Story Collection] | [Part 1] [●] [Part 3🔴]

When we arrived at Mr. Griffin’s penthouse, I was speechless. His office was enormous, but his home made me feel like I had entered Narnia through those double doors. My 2-room-and-1-bathroom apartment was nothing compared to his living room. My whole place fit in a corner of his living room. I think the entire floor of the building I lived in fit in his living room. I felt poor while he showed me his place, but he treated me so nicely that I felt good at the same time.

“I’m surprised you’re willing to do this,” said Mr. Griffin as we walked up the stairs to the second floor of his penthouse. Call me ignorant, but I didn’t even know something like that was possible inside a building. “I guess I had the wrong first impression of you, young man. Maybe I should’ve treated you differently when I brought up this topic,” he added, wrapping his muscular arm around my shoulders.

“I-I just want to be sure that I can pay off my debt, Mr. Griffin,” I responded, surprised by how heavy his arm felt and enjoying the incredible scent of his perfume. I couldn’t help but feel confused because, even though he had tricked me into carrying his kids, I wasn’t scared or mad at him. He made me feel good; deep inside me, I was willing to be with him.

“I know. But this change of plans will make this process much more fun, and hopefully, you’ll enjoy this,” Mr. Griffin said, pulling me closer to his muscular torso, which made me gasp because of how firm it felt. “And, don’t worry, I’ll give you extra money for this,” he added as he opened a double door and allowed me into his enormous bedroom.

I was so impressed by the place that I couldn’t form coherent words for a few seconds. “Oh… I… no… You don’t have to, Mr. Griffin. I-I don’t want to feel like I’m a... you know,” I responded when I snapped out of my trance as he invited me to sit on his bed.

“I know, but I don’t mean it like that,” he said, removing his T-shirt and leaving me speechless again. “But I really want you to enjoy this in all possible ways.” He popped his pecs, and the thick slabs of meat bounced so hypnotically that I gasped in surprise.

I froze and marveled at his body for over a minute. Even though he was much older than me, his physique impressed me so much that I felt my dick stirring in my pants. I had never considered myself gay because the only relationships I had had so far were with women, but I had had some brief encounters with some men over the years, but none of them were as big or hot as Mr. Griffin.

He smiled at me and approached to help me remove my own t-shirt, revealing my well-developed torso. My muscles weren’t as big as his, but I went to the gym a few times a week, so I had nicely developed pecs and arms, broad shoulders, and well-defined abs. He chuckled in surprise, and I blushed.

He reached for my right pectoral and firmly squeezed it, winking at me. “You’re definitely perfect for this,” he said, massaging my pecs as his other hand unbuckled his belt. “Are you ready? Or would you prefer it if we go slower? I can give you all the time you need.”

“I’m fine. Let’s do this.” I shyly smiled and started taking my own pants off.

I had been very reluctant about the contract I signed and how Mr. Griffin used his money and power to turn me into his baby-making slave, but the more I stayed with him, the more I changed my mind about him. He wasn’t a bad man, and I wasn’t his slave; he treated me with respect while we were undressing and asked me several times if I was sure about what we were about to do.

Once I confirmed again that I was willing to carry his kids and do it the natural way, he removed the rest of his clothes, and my jaw dropped to the ground. His dick rose to its full size, and I estimated it was a foot long, if not longer. His balls reminded me of softballs, and his scrotum was so tight around them that they looked ready to burst. His legs looked powerful, his hips swayed beautifully, and when I saw his massive ass on full display, my dick got instantly hard. I had always been proud of my 8.5-inch-long dick, but Mr. Griffin’s was out of this world.

He got in bed and offered me his hand to help me get by his side. His bed was enormous, much bigger than a king-sized mattress. Everything about Mr. Griffin was big, and I really mean everything. I was somewhat scared about his huge dick, but as he started carefully caressing my body, I could only smile and feel great.

“Mr. Griffin, why are you treating me so well? You don’t have to. You know I’ll do this anyway,” I said, enjoying his careful touch.

“I really want you to feel comfortable while we make some babies,” he said, moving his hand down to my abs and slowly reaching for my dick to stroke it, sending shivers down my spine. “How do you want to do this?” He rubbed my balls and made me smile.

“I… think I feel comfortable with you on top,” I responded, lifting my legs for him to have access to my ass.

He smiled and immediately got on top of me, casting a shadow over me and accentuating our size difference. He smiled and leaned forward to kiss my neck, pressing his thick pecs against my torso while his dick poked between my legs. The head of his dick felt enormous against my ass, and I couldn’t help but gasp. I was nervous and still confused, but my body was aching for his dick.

He looked me in the eyes, and I felt his dick getting in position against my hole. I took a deep breath as his hips pushed forward, attempting to fit his huge dick into me. I wasn’t sure if it would fit because the few previous sex encounters I had had with other men were with dicks much smaller than Mr. Griffin’s. I focused on his smiley face and couldn’t help but smile back at him when he pushed harder.

When the head of his dick entered me, I groaned and moaned. I closed my eyes and panted because I felt like he was tearing me in half. I couldn’t think of anything apart from the huge dick entering me. Once the head was in, he slowly slid the rest of his dick inside me, making me gasp even more. I reached for his arms and buried my fingertips in his big biceps, dealing with intense pain but the most fantastic pleasure I had ever felt.

“Are you okay?” Mr. Griffin asked, and I only nodded as he got balls deep into me. I felt his dick throbbing inside me, and the sensation was incredible. “Take your time. I’m surprised you’re able to take my entire dick. You’re the first man who manages to do so.”

“I’m fine… I’m great, to be honest,” I said between moans, loving every single inch of dick buried inside me. “Keep going. I’m ready,” I added, smiling at him.

He grinned, pulling most of his dick out of me, only to ram it back into my hole with such force that the whole bed shook. I moaned loudly and gripped his biceps even harder, aware that I wouldn’t hurt him because his muscles felt like rocks. He repeated the strong thrust, and I saw stars. His hips bucked faster, and even though I didn’t want to let myself go into the intensity of the fucking, he was so strong and yet so sweet while fucking me that I couldn’t help but ask for more. I almost begged him to fuck me harder, and even though he was gentle, his pounding got stronger and faster, and even then, I wanted more.

While he fucked me, many thoughts crossed my mind. I remembered about the surrogacy contract and how I didn’t have a choice but to sign it. I thought about my small apartment and the money I would receive for my services. I was conflicted because a part of me felt bad because I was having sex for money, but the more Mr. Griffin thrust into me, the more I convinced myself that it was a win-win for me. I loved the fucking, and the money was good.

I felt Mr. Griffin’s balls hit my ass, and they felt huge. I knew it meant his balls were brewing a big load to fill me up, and even though I wasn’t that used to the feeling because I didn’t have much experience with other men, something deep inside me was longing for Mr. Griffin’s seed. I felt his pre-cum entering my hole, which was remarkable because I literally felt the flow entering me while he fucked me hard.

Mr. Griffin’s dick was so deep inside me, and it was so thick that it stimulated my prostate and turned me on like never before. My dick was leaking pre-cum while he fucked me, and after a few minutes, I couldn’t hold my load back anymore, shooting several thick shots of cum all over my own abdomen while others landed on Mr. Griffin’s pecs. He grinned when he noticed I was cumming, and with the most powerful thrust, he pushed his entire dick into me, immediately releasing a massive wave of cum deep into my guts.

I felt the massive shots filling my guts to the brim, and just as expected, I felt bloated by the time he stopped cumming. I had seen his big balls, and considering how much pre-cum he had leaked, I was expecting a massive load, and he didn’t disappoint me. I had fucked some men before, and some of those men had fucked me, but Mr. Griffin had fucked me unbelievably well.

I wasn’t sure if it was only due to the size of his dick or his passionate and careful fucking, but while we panted and his dick was still inside me, I couldn’t help but long for more. However, I didn’t want to look so desperate about it, so when he took his dick out of me, leaving me feeling empty, I only relaxed on his bed and rubbed my bloated midsection. I felt full with so much of his warm seed inside me, and I loved the sensation. I was confused because I never thought I would enjoy having sex with Mr. Griffin so much, but the more I thought about it, the more I convinced myself that signing the surrogacy contract had been a great idea.

We stayed in his bed for a while, catching our breaths, and he started telling me about the accommodations he would make for me. The contract already had some benefits for me, but Mr. Griffin had other ideas. He reached for my abdomen and started caressing it as he told me that I didn’t have to go to work while pregnant with his babies. Again, the plural scared me, but considering his huge load was bloating my lower abdomen, multiples were definitely a possibility.

He said my son and I could move in with him and use one of the spare rooms in the penthouse so I could be comfortable. He said I didn’t have to worry about food, clothes, or anything for me or Marco. He wanted me to feel safe and enjoy the pregnancy because that would help the babies develop better. I smiled, and even though it had all started pretty badly between us, Mr. Griffin’s new attitude made me feel great.

“Let’s wait to find out if you got me pregnant, Mr. Griffin,” I said, enjoying his touch on my abdomen. “I don’t want you to spend money on me or my son if I’m not doing my part of the deal.”

“I’ll respect that. We’ll wait.” Mr. Griffin smiled and nodded.

****

I continued my regular life for the next few weeks. I was getting somewhat anxious about the possibility of being pregnant because I knew my life would change a lot. My life was already changing because Mr. Griffin sent me money every other day to make sure I ate well. He insisted that I needed to eat a lot to give him strong and healthy babies. I didn’t complain about the extra money, but his attention only increased my anxiety. A part of me didn’t want to be pregnant, but another part of me knew I had to be pregnant for Mr. Griffin.

I caressed my abdomen every morning when I woke up. I thought about waking up with a huge round belly full of Mr. Griffin’s babies. I thought about raising those kids, even though the contract didn’t mention it. I thought about the changes my body would experience during pregnancy. I remembered how Mr. Griffin massaged my pecs while he talked about me being perfect to carry his kids, making me wonder if my pecs were able to produce milk.

So many thoughts crossed my mind during those weeks, and when I thought about my relationship with my son, my anxiety got even worse. Marco and I were really close because we only had each other. I would do anything to make him happy and give him a great life, even becoming a pregnant man. We shared a bed. I played with him every evening. We went to the park every other day. I took him to a nearby pool in our neighborhood once a week. We did everything together, and I wasn’t sure if I could keep doing all those activities if I was indeed pregnant with Mr. Griffin’s babies.

Even though I knew I had to wait a few weeks to confirm if I was pregnant, only a month after the natural ”insemination,” I noticed some slight changes on my body that made me think that the process had been successful. I gained 5 pounds in a month, which could also be attributed to my excessive eating, but I wasn’t getting fatter everywhere. I noticed my abdomen felt different and fuller, and my abs seemed to be fading. I didn’t know if those changes were too early, but I started sending some photos of my abdomen to Mr. Griffin every morning.

Mr. Griffin got excited with the photos and always responded with happy emojis. He sent me even more money for food, leading me to eat a lot more, and my belly started getting rounder. Since I had more than enough money, I started going out for dinner with Marco every other day, and I always went back home feeling ready to burst. My appetite was out of control, and I didn’t know if it was because I was pregnant or because I was getting fat.

I hadn’t seen Mr. Griffin since the day we had sex, but he texted me every day, several times a day, asking if I had any pregnancy symptoms. I told him that apart from the weight gain, everything else was normal. I knew he was expecting me to get morning sickness or something, but everything was fine until the first week of May, 8 weeks after Mr. Griffin fucked me. Many things happened that day.

When I woke up, I immediately looked down and saw a noticeable curve on my abdomen. It wasn’t huge, but it was definitely there. Marco was snuggling tightly against me like every morning, and his arm was over my small belly. I couldn’t help but smile as I thought about Marco as an older brother. He was such a good kid, and I knew he would make a wonderful older brother. Then, as he woke up, he looked me in the eyes, smiling. I kissed his forehead and hugged him tight, like every morning.

Marco rested his head on my pec and looked down at my abdomen, and after a few seconds of silence, he said, “Dad, you’re getting fat.” His words made me laugh out loud, but he made me realize that my belly was growing, and he noticed.

When I arrived at my job that same day, I couldn’t keep my hands off my abdomen. My mind drifted from one thought to the next, not letting me focus on anything but the possibility of being pregnant. I walked into my office and wasn’t paying attention to my steps. I didn’t care if the place was empty or not; I could only wonder if my belly was full of Mr. Griffin’s babies.

Then, as I approached my cubicle, sudden nausea washed over me. I had never experienced something so intense, and even though I tried to resist it, I had no other option but to try to get in the bathroom to throw up. However, before I could make it to the bathroom, I stumbled against a massive man who triggered a disgusting scene. I couldn’t resist the urge to throw up and ended up doing it all over his torso. I was so embarrassed, but when I looked up, I saw the shocked but empathic, handsome face of Greg, the janitor.

Greg was about 5 inches taller than me but much broader. His muscles were enormous, much bigger than Mr. Griffin’s, stretching his jumpsuit beyond the limits and not allowing him to close the buttons around his pecs. This meant that some of my vomit fell on his bare pecs. I expected him to get mad at me, but he only smiled kindly and offered me a napkin to clean my mouth. I had seen Greg several times before, but I had never interacted with him, and I was impressed by his kindness.

“You should be more careful,” he said, chuckling as he tried to find something to clean his vomit-covered pecs.

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I-I… just…” I said, but another wave of nausea washed over me and made me run into the bathroom to throw up the rest of my breakfast.

I heard Greg entering the bathroom while I continued throwing up, and he sounded concerned about my sickness. He asked me if I was okay, but I couldn’t respond. Apart from my sickness, I was so ashamed that I hoped Greg would leave before I walked out of the bathroom stall, but he didn’t. He was genuinely concerned, and he waited for me to come out.

When I regained composure and walked out of the bathroom stall, I found him with his upper body fully exposed. His enormously bulging muscles looked wonderful, and even though I was still somewhat sick, I gasped and marveled at the magnificent sight of Greg’s body.

“I hope you’re feeling better,” he said, moving his right hand over his pecs to make sure they were clean.

“I am. Again, I’m really sorry,” I said, more ashamed than ever.

“No problem.” He approached, and I couldn’t believe how hot he was. “I’m Greg, by the way. I’ve seen you around but never got the chance to meet you,” he said, sounding sweet. He smiled at me. 

“I’m Adam. Nice to meet you,” I responded, and for a few seconds, I forgot about my sickness, the pregnancy, and the contract. Greg’s sweetness made me feel wonderful.

...

[babybatscreationsv2]

Peter's First Kiss

Marvel | Starker

When Peter is outed at a party by one of his classmates, Tony swoops in to save his boyfriend from public humiliation.

Rating: Teen

Warnings: forced outing, public embarrassment

"Peter's gay?" One of his classmates exclaimed. Peter shrunk in on himself on reflex. Even Ned stopped mid sentence and he looked around. His class wasn't known for being homophobic, but he wasn't exactly looking for yet another reason to get bullied. Peter grabbed his arm and slowly began to pull Ned away from the source of the exclamation. They made it two steps.

"Hey, Peter!" Betty reached them. She caught Peter's arm to stop his escape. "You're gay? Someone said you were gay."

"Uh..." Peter froze. A thousand denials tangled around in his brain.

"No! What?" Ned said, but his nervous stuttering was unconvincing. Betty looked between the two of them. In fact, the whole room was looking at them.

"Well..." Peter looked at his friend in panic. Ned gave him nothing more than a concerned look and a shrug. "I am. Yeah. I mean, I guess so."

"Really? That's totally cool," Betty said. "I mean I don't think it's a problem or anything. Actually, Eddie's gay, too! Sorta. He's bi. You guys should talk!"

Betty dragged him across the room. The crowd settled as the drama of the moment passed. The lack of bloodshed not enough to hold teenage attention.

Eddie Brock leaned against the wall, chatting with some friends, and sipping something from a plastic cup. Betty pulled Peter into the group as she inserted herself in the center. Peter looked over his shoulder to see Ned watching awkwardly a few feet away.

"Hey, Eddie!" Betty greeted.

Eddie looked at each of them. Amusement painted his face. "What's up, Betty?"

"Peter's gay."

"Oh, really?" His amused look turned to a smirk. His eyes twinkled. Peter tried not to look as horrified as he felt. "Thanks for the update, guys."

Betty looked at Peter, then again at Eddie. She bounced on her heels. "You guys should talk."

"About what, Bet?" Eddie took a sip from his cup.

She looked baffled. "He's gay. You're bi. You guys could totally date."

Eddie laughed. "I'm okay, thanks. No offense, Parker."

Peter shook his head "No, that's fine..." He looked around for an escape route, but he was sure Betty would chase after him again. He prayed for Ned to go set off a smoke detector or something.

"But Peter needs help. He's gay and he's never even kissed someone before," Betty insisted. She sighed sadly. "It's really sad how so many gay people grow up to be thirty and they've never even been kissed."

"Whoa, I have so kissed someone!" Peter argued. "You've literally seen me kiss Liz."

"That was before you knew you were gay." Betty rolled her eyes. "It doesn't count. You're a whole new you now. This is your becoming, Peter."

The way she thought she was helping was growing more frustrating by the minute. Peter's jaw clenched, locking in the words he didn't want to say. He wasn't one for confrontation. Especially not a public one.

"He looks alright to me," Eddie said. "I'm sure someone will take care of him and his unkissed lips eventually."

"I have kissed someone!" Peter insisted.

"Peter, it's okay. You don't have to be embarrassed," Betty said in a way that she must have thought was sympathetic. "Just because we've all kissed someone before doesn't mean you have to be so ashamed. We'll find you someone."

Peter pressed his lips together before the words could come out. He turned on the spot to make his escape only to come face to face with his boyfriend, Tony.

Familiar hands wrapped around his waist. He pulled him in close. Peter's hands slid over his chest to curl around his arms. Warm lips pressed against his own. Peter leaned into, holding back the way he wanted to moan as the tension he was holding fled. The sound of clapping and cheering came to mind slowly. Peter hesitated as he realized what everyone was cheering for. He stopped and looked at Tony as his face burned.

"Heard you'd never been kissed. I came to save the day," Tony said. His smile was huge.

"My hero." Peter shook his head, though he couldn't help but smile. He hadn't wanted to come out this way, but if everyone already knew then at least he had Tony to back him up.

"Peter had his first kiss, everybody!" Betty announced. "And it was with Tony Stark!"

Peter held in a laugh, but if Tony tried to hold back it slipped out and left them both giggling. "My first kiss," Peter said.

"And with Tony Stark," Tony said with mock awe.

"Can we leave now?" Peter whispered.

Tomy raised his eyebrows. "You sure you want that rumor going around?"

Peter rolled his eyes. "We've been dating for a year, Tony."

"Your first kiss and your first fuck all in the same day. The whole school is gonna lose their minds," Tony teased. He wrapped his arm around Peter's shoulders and led him towards the door. Everyone was staring.

"I think they already have." Peter gave Ned a grimace as they passed. He leaned into Tony as they made their escape, with Peter's face burning red and Betty's unfortunate glee following behind them.

[halles-comet]

Okay, I have finally girded my loins and am going to watch the saw trap finale of Sherlock for the first time since it aired. I was 20, living in London, and my flatmate was interning for the BBC where they got so many complaints it almost crashed the website. Most of what I remember is that the show ends with the two of them jumping into the air and doing a freeze frame. Let's dive in.

Opens with Mycroft drinking in the dark alone mouthing along to old black-and-white movies. It's fun when two siblings are gay but in very different ways.

This is not how repressed memories work

The writers are all "Sherlock and Mycroft's sister (who we’ve never established before) is a genius beyond either of them. She’s so smart she can hypnotize people into killing themselves she’s basically a god." And then it cuts to her babbling amazing genius gems like:

She's also like "I can tell Sherlock's a virgin because he doesn't play the violin like someone who knows how to fuck"

Steven Moffat loves one thing and one thing only; little girls creepily singing English poems.

THIS IS NOT HOW REPRESSED MEMORIES WORK

They really skate by the "at 16 years old mycroft told everyone his sister died and his parents asked no follow-up questions" of it all

MOLLY HOOPER SHOULD GET TO STRANGLE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE MEN WITH HER BARE HANDS INCLUDING THE WRITERS

The wig they used to cover up BC's Marvel haircut really isn't doing it's job

You have to imagine at one point Andrew Scott was on a short list for a Doctor Who villain because otherwise the camp "I Want To Break Free" dance break is extra gauche

THIS IS NOT HOW REPRESSED MEMORIES WORK

Doesn't John have a baby? When he has to solve gay murder riddles does he just leave her with that woman from the bus he was having an emotional affair with?

They're in a cell that sometimes has glass and sometimes doesn't with no explanation. This is not the level of show that's smart enough to pull that off as subtextual.

JOHN GETS THROWN DOWN A WELL LIKE BABY JESSICA

Whose sister hasn't killed your best friend and then everyone told you she killed your nonexistent dog instead and despite being a famously curious person you just accept this for thirty years? Typical sister move tbh

THIS. IS NOT. HOW. REPRESSED MEMORIES. WORK.

The whole episode they're trying to save a little girl in an unpiloted crashing plane and my brain was like wait a minute I know this trope he uses it all the time it's not going to be a literal plane and then guess what. It wasn't. It was a metaphor for the sister's isolation but somehow she was broadcasting it, in reality, through a radio system with a child's voice for an hour of the episode. To quote Bob's Burgers, it's not a twist, it's a lie. A lie is not a twist!

I was right about the freeze frame. It happened to you. To me. To this country.

[amageish]

People seemed to like my post chronicling the queer history of Felicia Hardy, so I'm going to do something similar to that... Let's chat about the queer history of Marvel's unwitting power couple, Ellie Phimister and her girlfriend Yuki Ohara.

Let's dive in!

Content Warning: This summary will include discussion of anti-mutant hate crimes and genocide, as that is part of Ellie's comic book story.

Like a lot of queer X-Men stories, this one begins with queercoding in the 80s.

While Jim Shooter famously prohibited any queer storytelling in Marvel Comics during his tenure as Editor-in-Chief of the company and, on top of that, the Comics Code Authority also banned it, Chris Claremont, the architect of the X-Men as we know them today, never really followed those rules - and neither did his editors, artists, and co-writers. There are so many queer-coded relationships throughout his runs on the X-Men and the modern X-Men stories are still playing catch-up to this day, canonizing the intentions of him and his collaborators one character at a time. Mystique and Destiny are probably his most famous pairing nowadays, as that is canon now, but he also wrote the Juggernaut as being with Black Tom Cassidy, Kate Pryde as being bisexual for most women she encounters in her life, and, the topic for today, Storm being in a romantic relationship with the Japanese assassin Yukio.

Yukio is, to put it mildly, a risk-taker. She runs through life with seemingly no self-preservation instincts whatsoever and, for some reason, always gets by nonetheless. She and Storm have a fling while Storm is in Japan (Uncanny X-Men 172-173) and this leads directly into Storm's famous punk era, which certainly does recontextualize some of the vibes of her having suddenly gotten a mohawk and a taste for leather.

Their later reunion in Uncanny X-Men 311-313 is extra funny to me - both because of the narration textually referring to them as "more then friends" and because of Yukio justifying her daredevil attitude by suggesting it would have been "politically incorrect" of the villain to have attacked them in public.

These two "kindred spirits" hang out for a bit, but Yukio is ultimately a Wolverine character and not a larger X-Men team member, so they naturally split off as time goes on. Their last appearance together was during the 2014 Death of Wolverine event - though their affair was mentioned by an angry Kitty during the Storm flashback mini earlier this year.

That said, Yukio is obviously a Sapphic and I guess when the team behind the movie Deadpool 2 decided to give their version of Negasonic Teenage Warhead a girlfriend, they looked at the list of queer-coded characters and decided she was the right one for them...

Now, as for Ellie...

Eloise Phimister AKA Negasonic Teenage Warhead debuted in Grant Morrison's New X-Men, but her name was not said on-panel until after she was already dead. She was one of Emma Frost's students, a gothic woman with telepathic powers that foretold the death of her and her classmates at Genosha... and yet she died nonetheless.

This is a very tragic character. She has a silly name, but that is part of the heartbreak of this moment. Ellie is a child who died as a result of a genocidal desire to kill all mutants. Her silly name emphasizes her youth... which makes it REALLY tonally dissonant when it played for comedy from here-on-out.

She was briefly brought back by the camp gay villain Selene when she revived horrific versions of many deceased mutants as part of X-Force... and then she was revived for real with a new design fter the release of the first Deadpool movie. She maintains her precognitive abilities and future-sight here, but otherwise... Well, she's now a comedy character in a Deadpool book. She also can warp reality now, partially as an explanation for why she looks/acts different then her first appearances.

She paled around with Deadpool for a bit, but didn't do anything explicitly queer in the comics until 2022 (good god) where she kissed an unnamed woman, causing Wolverine to wonder if she'll one day lead a X-Men team that is exclusively made up of her multiple girlfriends. This comment is also a subtle not to the implied status quo of the Krakoa era, where Wolverine himself has two partners - dating both Jean Grey and Scott Summers.

This is a funny moment, though I do wonder why it took so long for her to be queer in the comics - Marvel comic books are generally the most queer media Marvel puts out, so I do wonder if it was something specifically about her being a Deadpool character that caused people to hesitate to greenlight queer stories about her.

Finally, in 2023, Ellie got her first solo series in the form of an Infinity Comic.

This series uses the increasingly-popular approach of having "fate" be a stand-in for "the concept of being a loyal adaptation in a multimedia landscape," as she is fated to kiss a girl named Yuki Ohara or else the fabric of reality as we know it will be destroyed.

While Deadpool is only in it for a bit, it is a very meta narrative, with a lot of commentary on the way that female characters are written in comics in general and female reality-warpers specifically, with Ellie having a lot of anxiety about the risk of her becoming like Jean Grey or Scarlet Witch - not helped by the TVA chasing her down and declaring her a threat. However, in the end, she meets her girlfriend-to-be and pauses time itself to get know her properly before having their universe-saving kiss. Good for them!

Since then, she has appeared exactly once - in a Pride issue fashion show - but I imagine she and her girlfriend Yuki are just in a little reality-warp bubble, hidden away as Fall of X finishes up.

Synergy is a dirty word in the comics landscape, but I personally like Ellie and her romance with Yuki - and I'm very relieved that they introduced a new, younger Yuki O. based on the movie for her to date instead of just retconning the established Yukio into becoming Eloise's girlfriend... Storm doesn't deserve to have her girl stolen away like that!

Also, Yuki has a giant mech and electricity powers. Maybe a little cliche for a Japanese character's powerset, but it is badass...

I hope we see more comic book stuff with these two eventually... There is potential there that is as of yet untapped - especially as they are probably two of Marvel's most notable queers by virtue of being in wildly popular movies, even if their comic queerness is a relatively modern thing.

[asterlark]

we learn so little details about benoit blanc's history or personal life that that little moment in knives out 1 fascinates me... let's look at it.

marta: did you know harlan?

blanc: he knew my father who was a police detective. years ago. my father respected harlan. that says quite a lot.

1. we learn that blanc's father was a police detective years ago, which means that

2. blanc is partially following in his father's footsteps, becoming a detective of sorts himself

3. blanc's father respected harlan and "that says quite a lot"- which i take to mean, it was respect not easily earned. blanc sr. gave his respect to people he deemed good enough, worthy enough.

now i'm just thinking and extrapolating, but from this wording and tone, i gather that blanc's father is dead. and i wonder if we'll find out in future movies whether that's true, and if blanc's father lived to see blanc become a famous private investigator, was he proud of him? did he respect his son? (unrelated but kind of related: did he know his son is gay?)

it's also a fascinating moment, in a movie partially about a family's relationship to a father figure, to have blanc briefly mention following in his father's footsteps. in baiting linda to talk about how she truly feels about the other members of the family, blanc says:

"...as a self-made man myself i have to express my admiration for how you've followed in your father's footsteps. ...just marvelous. the whole family too. joni with her things, walt with his publishing empire."

this movie has a subtle nod to legacy. what do we want to leave behind? who do we want our children to become? how will we care for future generations? harlan cuts his family off to force them to become "self-made" and self-sufficient. then there is blanc: if we take him at his word (and don't presume he's lying to bait joni), he is a self-made man.

we can only guess at how he feels about his father and his original motivations for his career choice, but it makes sense that blanc would want to become an investigator because of his father. it makes me wonder- did he try to be a police detective first or did he go a different way from the start? (i personally get from the "self-made" vibe that he's always been a private investigator, but that's just imo.) what guided his ethos in choosing clients, honoring his father or unlearning his father's worldview?

there's no real end to this post i'm just fascinated by benoit blanc as a character, partially because we know so little about his personal life. he's a man of mystery, he's gay, he's either a daddy's boy or has daddy issues, he's a fashion icon, he's a feminist, and he's my best friend ❤️

[davekat-sucks]

homestuck's fanbase is really making me feel like giving up on the story as a whole... Jesus, I might just call it quits soon. Listening to idiots try to defend how shit Homestuck's story became is too exhausting. It reminds me of when I was listening to lectures of, people who hardly counted as, writers go off about how important it is to prioritize representation over all else. They never realized if you do a terrible job with writing a story, you do a terrible job of representing women, different racial groups, gay men, ext. They don't want to write female characters like they're people who make mistakes and grow. Those authors wanted women to always be perfect and always in the right and her biggest obstacle is that men don't believe in her. You can see that in Star Wars with Rei or Captain Marvel as an example of the mindset I'm talking about.

I liked homestuck because so many of the female characters had challenges and flaws. Aradia, Terezi, Rose... They had amazing stories and their flaws made them interesting.

Homestuck could have been a story about different people who have completely different mindsets coming together for a common goal. Homestuck is just... soap opera drama and shitty teen romance at the end of the story where the characters just wait for the story to finish and most of the audience left. In the epilogue, it feels like all of the characters gave up. I suppose Kanaya did put in effort to find Rose and make sure she is safe, I'll give the story credit there. Dirk wants something too. Dirk's goal is just to close the loop and create the first universe in the first place but all you ever hear people talking about is how his motivations have something to do with the shitty meta fiction gimmick the story has going on. "Gotta keep the story going or else the characters fade out of memory" That is such bullshit concept. Sounds like a justification for why there are so many Star Wars shows now. Sounds like milking an IP. Quantity of quality kind of excuse.

And, for the record, my beef isn't with how the fandom represents it's own headcanons or interpretations of the characters, my beef is with how people talk about the canon. Fandom and canon should be two different things. But people act like the fandom should influence canon. I thought the point of both of the cherubs were to show that is a bad idea. Fanon being in canon feels like it derails the story, even the homosuck part that Caliborn came up with.

I'm getting tired of trying to even find a space in this fandom. It's occupying too much of my freetime now. I have so much nostalgia for homestuck but now it feels like trying to get back on the swings of a playground, too old for this shit. Fuck, I adulted too hard and I outgrew fandom I guess. Shit sucks.

Ah well, at least they fans are having fun. But how much fun can you really have when Rose screwed over Kanaya in two timelines? Kanaya felt like a better character in the epilouge cause she's given a challenge to face that is unique to her and her relationship with her wife. Rose's dad brainwashed(?) her to leave her wife, wow, Kanaya that's some shit. Just sucks that she is getting cucked AGAIN. Is it a universal constant that Kanaya is just going to keep falling for women who don't respect her? Maybe she should have stuck with Vriska. All of this Kanaya Rose drama is a bad sign of what's to come. I think it's disrespectful to the fans that are still sticking around. I'm not really included in this bunch. My horse tapped out of the race years ago. People who are still holding out for hope this story is going somewhere are either the most optimistic people out there or the most beaten down.

It's no wonder so many people who worked on homestuck abandoned ship. Toby looks like he's having a good career and Hussie looks like he's afraid of what he created. Maybe there is poetic justice to be gleaned from all of this.

It had lot of creative ideas and talent. But through it, there are cracks and messes that can't be ignored. Even now, the same kind of messes appear again in present times and I think people are scared to talk about it in fear that the thing they love was not as great as they though it was. We really are suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. Even when moments in the series and narrative itself that tells the audience that we were stupid to even care, we stayed because we loved it for what it was back then before the meta shit kicked in. The whole revival of the series so it won't fade away and being comparable to Star Wars is a good way to describe it. The team not taking risks to actually go outside of the Homestuck cast, tell a new story, or even trying to focus on the base webcomic alone that made it popular in the first place. They can't even put more focus on Hiveswap just yet because they know people know Homestuck first before Hiveswap, despite said game could make a better introduction or entryway for people to get interested in the webcomic. I'm not sure what is going on through Hussie or James Roach's mind for all this.

[9w1ft]

i totally agree, fans are going off the rails again.

now they're acting like this is confirmation that joe cheated, pulling up old videos where they claim he "moaned his costars name", pretending like he was the biggest asshole ever without any actual proof besides them feeling vindicated in their stages of grief theory. then the others are acting like taylor is immature like they don't assume that red is about Jake Gyllenhaal, and speak now is about Joe Jonas and John Mayer, and love to hate on these men for that too. their infighting is getting tiring and feels very hypocritical, especially because they are the ones who will come for any gaylor for "speculating on Taylor's private life."

their main proof is their assumption that everything from rep to midnights is already about joe and her using songs from mainly these albums for her playlists.

i guess an argument could be made that taylor may have lined things up ahead of time for fans to come to some version of these conclusions, which i can see people having opinions about, but i think it’s important to remember just how many times things can look like they are aligned to mean something without panning out, etc. people, everyone, in every corner, can get so sure of themselves, despite having come up incorrect in the past. i marvel at how fast some types of people seem to bounce back from being flagrantly incorrect.

i guess this is the human condition. that’s one thing i find interesting about all this time in the community at large. i’ve learned so much about people, psychology, from fandom. the good the bad and the ugly. and it’s often really applicable to everyday life!

this is an aside but, i often wonder how puzzling all this is as someone who sees taylor as gay (and joe as a beard) but currently not seriously dating anyone quietly/secretly. i can imagine being like “why does she have to do all this? for what??” i haven’t had the time to go looking looking but i imagine stuff like lavendergate or bettygate being revisited with these new developments and how additionally confusing it all must be. the por qué of it all

[mightyflamethrower]

HOUSTON, TX — As the world still celebrated the astonishing accomplishment of SpaceX catching its returning Starship, NASA officials were baffled at how Elon Musk managed to succeed without as many gay non-binary Muslim dwarfs of color as they have.

SpaceX's historic achievement occurred despite not making diversity and inclusion its top priority, leaving NASA in awe that such a feat could be pulled off without the mandated involvement of underrepresented people groups.

"Not a single transgender dwarf of color on the team! How does this guy do it?" one high-ranking NASA official marveled. "We devote all of our time and spend billions upon billions of dollars to put together the most intersectional and diverse team, but we can't even come close to the stuff Musk is pulling off at SpaceX. They caught a rocket, for crying out loud! And they didn't have any non-binary Hindu furries working on the project! How is that possible?

Decision-makers at NASA reportedly held emergency closed-door meetings this week to discuss the widening gap between their work and the things being done at SpaceX. "It doesn't matter what we do, he just keeps pulling further ahead," a NASA insider said. "We're going to keep trying to incorporate more diversity, equity, and inclusion to everything we do, but it's like this guy has cracked some code where he just puts the most brilliant and qualified minds to work on his projects. That sounds crazy, but I guess it's working out for them."

At publishing time, NASA sources still expressed skepticism that Musk would be able to successfully land a human being on Mars without the help of any gender-fluid atheist amputees of mixed racial descent.

[sineala]

Five fic self rec meme!

Tagged by @nostalgicatsea approximately two weeks ago. I am not entirely sure what the parameters of this meme are but I think it might just be reccing five fics of mine that I like. I currently have 302 stories on AO3, so sifting through the contenders here was challenging. I tried to stick to shorter work of mine. This is all Marvel fic because that's what I've written the most of, because I feel like I've become a better writer over the years, and because I decided that the PWP I wrote in The Eagle fandom in Latin might have, uh, limited appeal.

All-Time Low (Marvel 616, Steve/Tony, 12,000 words, Explicit.)

You know how sometimes you write a story that ends up being exactly the story you wanted to tell? You get it down on the page and somehow it's exactly the way you wanted it to be in your head? The words just come out of you easy and fast and you're in the zone the entire time? (Yes, I know the term is actually "flow state.") And, sure, maybe it still needs some editing, but writing it is just this extremely good experience where you don't ever stop and wonder how any of it should go and all the words are just there. You know the thing I mean? I only have a couple stories that happened like this, but this one is one of them. I don't have much memory of actually writing this one, which is how that goes; I remember that I got the prompt and I knew what I wanted to write and then somehow this entire thing happened.

It was actually written for one of Kiyaar's prompts, which was that Tony should be sleeping with men for money during the second drinking arc and Steve should find out and there should be "shame and humiliation and tears." I looked at it and I thought, oh, I got this. The element of Steve then sleeping with Tony after he finds this out, which is a big part of the story, was actually not part of the original prompt, which I don't think even occurred to me until after Ki read the story and said she liked that development that I'd come up with that part myself. My brain was just like, hey, I know exactly how this story goes. Never even crossed my mind to do anything else. 

I keep putting off writing the fix-it sequels -- I have Plans for how the blizzard goes in this universe -- because I am afraid I won't be able to make them as good as the original story.

The Libertine (Marvel Ultimates, Steve/Tony, 6,000 words, Explicit.)

One day, I was just sitting there minding my own business and I thought, "You know what? Ults began in the early 2000s and therefore early-canon Ults Tony would absolutely have self-identified as a metrosexual," and then I thought, "Goddammit, I guess I have to write this story now."

I know that this one is in most ways a pretty standard first-time getting-together story but I thought it would be delightful to make Steve and Tony's roles in it opposite from what the prototypical Ults Steve/Tony story would do. So Tony here is like "actually, no, I'm not gay, I'm just metrosexual... oh shit, wait, I think I'm actually pretty gay after all" and Steve is the guy who spent World War II sleeping with every guy he could find. In the story, neither of them expect this about the other one, and I think fandom doesn't either.

I am also weirdly proud of thinking up the title of this story because "libertine" is a word you would probably want to apply to Ults Tony and yet Steve, the Sentinel of Liberty, ends up claiming basically every other liberty-related word, for obvious reasons. And maybe here he gets this one too.

(Incidentally, reading through the See Also section of the Wikipedia entry on "libertine" is a trip I think you should all take. Wow.)

The Longing and Yearning (Bullet Points. Steve/Tony, 13,000 words, Explicit.)

This is also a pretty standard first-time story but it's also my attempt to make Bullet Points fandom happen, which I think pretty much worked, so I'm pretty happy about that. It's a very small continuity, but it's a Steve/Tony thing now!

Steve and Tony never actually meet in canon and also Steve dies halfway through the series, but I had a lot of fun imagining what they might be like together. It was interesting to get to write Tony hero-worshipping a much older Steve, who was Iron Man and had basically all the physical trauma Tony usually gets from being Iron Man, and Tony wanting to be Iron Man because of Steve being Iron Man. Which is, you know, not usually how Steve/Tony goes. I also had a lot of fun furnishing Steve's 1950s-1960s house for him (Gwyn helped me out a lot with this while betaing) and writing Steve and Tony into a world of slightly vintage US government employee homophobia in the age of the Red Scare, which I don't usually get to do in Avengers fic although it occurs to me now that I actually really could have been doing this all along in 616 early canon.

Look After Your Heart (Marvel 616, Steve/Tony, 19,000 words, Mature.)

Last week, I remembered I'd written this when someone was asking for recs of stories where Tony's loneliness plays a major role and I ended up describing this one as "loneliness is Tony's villain origin story." I hadn't thought about it in years and I reread it and was like, you know, this wasn't half-bad.

This has not been one of my most popular Steve/Tony works, I think because the tags and summary make it look like a real downer -- which, okay, yeah, it kind of is -- but I would like to point out that it actually has a happy ending. I wish to stress this. Happy Steve/Tony ending. I promise. You just take a trip through hell to get there.

So this is an AU where time bullets don't exist and when Steve gets shot at the end of Civil War, he dies and stays dead. Tony finds this out when he wakes up after World's Most Wanted, doesn't remember the past couple years of his life, and discovers that Steve is now dead. He experiences a lot of grief. So this is a canon-divergent AU running through the events of Avengers v4 and Hickmanvengers up through Superior Iron Man, in which we all get to find out exactly how far off the rails Tony can go when he continues not to have Steve around to keep him sane, functional, heroic, or sober.

This fic is also interesting as a historical document, because it's one of my earlier stories in the fandom. I actually wrote it when Hickmanvengers was still going, before Time Runs Out happened, and even before Superior Iron Man happened. The last thing in here that was based in canon is the Great Society incursion. At this point, we knew that Tony was going to be Superior but we didn't know how it was going to happen, what it was going to be like, or how Hickman's run was going to end. So I took a whole bunch of guesses, and I honestly like a few of them better than what we actually got.

Smell Like I Sound (Marvel Adventures: Avengers, Carol/Jess, 7,000 words, Explicit.)

This is a Carol/Jess fic with background Steve/Tony. Look, I didn't promise they were all going to be Steve/Tony. This is set in MA:A, mostly because I needed a canon fairly close to 616 where Carol and Jess hadn't canonically met, and Jess does exist in MA:IM. I wanted to tackle an issue I hadn't really seen explored much in Carol/Jess fic, which was "how do Carol and Jess actually get together if Jess's pheromones uncontrollably don't have good effects on women?" because that seems like it would be bad. (I mean, it would also be bad if Jess's pheromones did uncontrollably have good effects on women, but that would be a different story.)

(Because comics are gonna comics, I'm pretty sure that MA: IM Jess's pheromones do have negative effects on women. This is not necessarily the case in 616. We actually found out a couple years ago in 616 that Jess can in fact pheromone women in the fun way, which, yes, I do have a fic outlined based on this. You bet I do. I just have not yet written it yet.)

I don't write a whole lot of femslash, which in this fandom is partly due to The Carol/Jess Troll (thanks, dude) and it's partly because I have a femslash problem I've never figured out how to consistently solve, which is that I can't manage to write a whole lot of f/f that has the same kind of stakes and feelings and tropey idficcy goodness as the m/m that I like to write. I can't really even articulate the problem in a useful way; I just try writing f/f and then I read it back and mostly it's not the thing I like because what I end up writing just doesn't seem exciting to me. And I know it's possible for me to write the thing I like because this one is the thing I like! I did it here! It's just not a trick I can pull off consistently. But, anyway, this one was fun. I think I did this one right.

Not sure who has done this meme, but I'm gonna tag @blossomsinthemist and @isozyme.

[kadavernagh]

TIMING: After Regan and Jade buy couches LOCATION: The Common PARTIES: Regan and Jade SUMMARY: The town is cursed with cold cookies and no one is to blame, especially not Jade and Regan.

“I think we should have given more consideration to that small one, the suffocation model,” Regan said, watching Jade out of the corner of her eye, the most subtle of amused crinkles at the corner. Anyone else might have taken her completely seriously. She was only being 95% serious, though (there was a 5% allowance that, okay, the couch they agreed upon was acceptable for now). A man jogging through the Common whipped his head toward them as he ran by, as if thinking he misheard. Odd. “If we drop our guard to the point of allowing relaxation, we deserve the air squeezed from our lungs. It will keep us alert.” Regan squeezed Jade’s hand, fingers brushing over her ring, the crinkles by her eyes growing a shade darker. She was down to 80% serious now (100% if it was pointed out). “We don’t have a lot of oxygen to go around in the first place, between the two of us. But don’t you think Emilio might steal this one when it’s dropped off at Axis? All those knife pockets…” She gave Jade a raised eyebrow, a reminder. “Defense knives.” A lot of them. Up to a hundred. That seemed excessive, but Jade liked that feature and Regan approved of the removable cushions.

…She probably would have gone along with it even if it lacked removable cushions. Jade had sent her that photo of Betty Crocker whipped vanilla too many times for Regan to think otherwise (along with an explanation of the meaning). But how could she say no to such heartfelt excitement? Regan used to think she had little to no practical experience at decision making. Jade was an even more extreme case. Except, she didn’t realize how wrong that was, what she had been deprived of. So she could pick the couch, the paint, the… no, actually, Regan was insistent on the windows and basement. But other than that.

Regan stopped in her tracks as something that wasn’t Jade fried her skin, plucking at each hair. It was death, almost… not the death she most often knew, and not the twisted version of it that Jade’s vampires carried with them. Jade was used to being along for this particular ride by now (and Regan was adamant that her presence made her even more accurate, but the reverse was probably true). Wordlessly, she nudged Jade into a sharp left, and her focused eyes fell on what looked like – what was – a picnic basket left behind by someone. Whatever she felt was coming from in there, she was sure. “Who put something dead in a picnic basket?” Regan asked Jade now that they’d found their target. “I guess it could be a whole chicken, or a turkey, but it doesn’t feel… like that.”

Regan watched the basket intently, thinking for a second– just before she’d blinked– that she saw it move slightly. 

—

“Mm, I bet you do,” Jade fired back without missing a beat, rolling her eyes playfully. It was a good thing they were holding hands, cause she was staring so hard, silently encouraging Regan to give her one extra crinkle, that she had no clue where her feet led her. Regan could take them down a cliff and she would’ve been too busy to notice. She marveled at the way Regan revealed her smiles more openly these days. In the common! Where people could see! And of course, she had to entertain the current conversation. “I wonder if that’s what happens when we’re randomly jolted awake from sleep. You know the one… where you feel like you’re falling into the abyss and then, bam! I wonder if that’s cause the air squeezed…” before she could fully nibble on that tasty brain nugget, Regan continued vouching for the suffocation model. Except— “Um, excuse me, I’m not the one taking all the air away. You should try not making it as hard to breathe around you” she scoffed, but like, she never wanted it to be easier. She liked the effect Regan had on her. She liked how gay her lungs got any time she was around. She didn’t banter anymore when she realized Regan was right. (For the first time ever) (Mark the date). Yup. Emilio might take an interest in their super amazing couch. With all the incredible extra knife space.  But then again, wasn’t Emilio totally spoiled by Teddy anyway? She could just refer him to Just Couches. It would be all kinds of cute to have matching ones. Especially since he kept passing on her double date ideas. “It’s gonna be fine, baby.” She nodded, more certain that Regan wasn’t actually right, it was just a false alarm.

The stroll came to a sudden stop. Which usually only happened for two reasons: One, Jade had spotted a new place to get food from, or two, Regan was sensing death. Since she was clearly not the one who stopped them (right?) (she looked around, nope), then it had to be option two: Regan had found something. Or was about to. Sure enough, she felt a tug that made her belly flutter, cause Regan was hot when she was on a mission. And so she picked up her pace to get to whatever was making her girl’s spidey sense go off. They took a sharp turn left and then it was right there, on the ground. She tilted her head, looking at the basket. Huh. But Regan was positive it was something dead. And she was failproof. “Maybe it’s like… a super special offering,” she pondered and ooooh, what could it be? Was it a squirrel, it would be all kinds of poetic, like a full circle type of thingy, right after securing their first piece of furniture for their first home. Home. 

Figuring Regan would call dibs on the basket anyway (as it was her right with anything dead), Jade lowered herself to the ground (it wasn’t too far anyway, haha she was short), sensing movement within. “Can the dead move?” She hoped the audience at home would’ve laughed that it was her, of all people, asking that question.

—

Regan picked up on the joking lightness in Jade’s tone, but she came in with a serious answer anyway (when didn’t she?). Jade’s dead moved, but those weren’t really dead. They were both referring to the cadavers that lined the morgue she missed every day. “Sometimes, if there are maggot masses under the skin, it can look like the dead are moving. It generates a lot of heat, too, you know. Sometimes nearly one hundred degrees.” She gave Jade a look out of the corner of her eye, most of her attention still on the basket. “You would think more humans might consider using maggot masses for some heat in the winter. Sometimes the others in Saol Eile would do that when the moors got too gusty.”

Regan lowered herself to the basket, slowly, as if it were a wild animal in need of taming. And who was to say there wasn’t something alive in there, too, rattling the basket back and forth? It was definitely moving now. “There’s death in there, I know it. But what if there’s… a cat? A live one? They would eat the dead, in fact.” Regan swallowed, hesitating. “We’re opening it, right?”

—

“That’s actually super cool,” freaky, but cool. Jade glanced at Regan, genuine curiosity sparkling in her gaze. It never ceased to amaze her just how smart her bone partner was. And like, she wanted to ask more, she wanted Regan to get that adorable look on her face she got any time she explained something nerdy to her. Soak up all the knowledge Regan didn’t want to use at the morgue anymore cause she was… trying to be something else. (She supported her in her discovery but…) (But). She was pretty sure the basket was already pulling much of the attention anyway, but they would have to pivot back to maggot masses cause… “I need to see pictures of that, were they like knitted or…” she cocked her head using her imagination, definitely ignoring the pang of annoyance (and hurt) that the mention of Saol Eile made her feel. 

Regan joined her on the ground, and Jade watched with a dopey smile how she approached the basket like she was kneeling to pet Lullaby. (It had yet to happen, but she envisioned it every day). She was so silly. The basket rattled, but she was too busy staring, until Regan spoke up again, strangely mentioning live cats too. It was the best kinda freaky when they were on the same wavelength. It was probably like, a rainbow wavelength. “Cats do eat the dead, and bring you dead things,” she hummed turning back to the basket. It was totally why she knew her cats would become besties with Regan eventually. But Regan sensed death, so they had to open it. Her love deserved all the dead things. “We’re so opening it, I’ve been ready” With an encouraging nod, Jade flicked the lid of the basket (more rattling), and then the protective piece of cloth covering the dead… “Cookies?” Nope. Not dead cookies. Just cookies. They smelled too nice to be dead. “Now I’m not the expert, but I don’t think cookies are supposed to rattle.”

—

Jade, as always, was completely correct about what constituted “cool”. Even “super cool”. Regan melted a little at the acknowledgement from someone so special, someone who saw so much in her, and nodded with satisfaction. “It is. Maybe after this we can find a nice maggot mass together. Far better than a photograph, don’t you think? Some photos. There must be something decomposing around here somewhere, and the sun is nearly setting, so I think it would be…” Regan’s breath hitched as Jade kneeled down, and she did the same, her focus now entirely on the basket.

Regan’s skin prickled when the basket opened, a chill against her already-chilled flesh. Did Jade notice? Jade seemed undeterred as she delicately folded the protective cloth over, and– “Um, yes, those look like cookies. Not even dead ones, just chocolate chip. Which is a good flavor, but inferior to the plain oatmeal cookie or sugar cookies. I don’t think cookies can be dead, given they’re never alive. Professional opinion from an Apple Store employee.” Then why did she still feel death? Regan placed her hand over Jade’s before Jade could reach for the cookies. “I think there’s something wrong with these… or the basket, or maybe even this spot.” Regan shook her head, her lips pressed thin. She knew it rattled. It wasn’t just in her head, was it? 

“Do you think they were left here for a reason?” Just as Regan asked, a loud, twisted voice rang out from the basket – it sounded like it came from an old woman, but when she looked, there was nothing but cookies. When it became obvious Jade didn’t hear the old woman, Regan tilted her head and tried to listen more closely. “There’s… I hear an old woman. She sounds nice, but a little, uh, pained, maybe. Um… something about a cold cookie curse on us?” Regan raised a brow and there was silence. “No, never mind, she says we aren’t cursed. The whole town is.”

—

Cookies and maggot masses weren’t like, at the top of Jade’s favorite date ideas, but actually? Any date was her ideal date when it was Regan by her side, so she couldn’t help the excitement fluttering in her belly at the thought of checking that concept off their list. But first? They had a mystery to solve. And luckily for everybody involved, two of the greatest minds in town were joining forces to get to the bottom of it. She got distracted, though… “Mmm, can you make me sugar cookies?” Regan was already a world renowned baker in her opinion. Everything she put in the oven turned to gold. (Not literally, obviously). But fine, this was about the non-dead cookies. She might as well sniff them to see if they smelled foul, right? Nope.  Before she could grab one, Regan’s hand was on hers. Oh, okay… No touchy, then. Got it. 

Something was definitely wrong with the cookies, but what? Regan leaned in to… um, listen to the cookies, which, alright. She was the one with the Spidey sense, Jade wasn’t gonna question it. She fully believed the cookies were talking to Regan, don’t get her wrong. Jade could, also, have a little fun with it. Everything about this was totally whimsical anyway. “You know what, I hear her too, she’s… hold on, she’s delivering a message for you,” staring at Regan with a playful glint in her eyes, Jade bent to the cookies’ level. “Uh-huh. Yup. I got it, she says: Listen to your bone partner, she’s right a hundred percent of the time,” she winked shamelessly, and satisfied with her mini performance, she grabbed the basket to get up. “What a sound old lady,” she swooned, offering a hand to Regan.  

And okay, “if the town is cursed, then we are in charge of breaking the curse, duh,” which sounded exactly like the type of side quest Jade was down for. She watched like, four seasons of Once Upon a Time, she knew about town curses. (She eventually dropped it cause she didn’t like them depicting Bo Peep as an evil woman) (How dare). Side note, of course they were the only ones iconic enough to escape the curse, that didn’t surprise her in the least. “I know you’ve been dabbling in heroics recently, most notoriously Terramoist, so I know you’re the perfect woman for the job,” Jade nodded confidently once Regan was back in her line of sight. Her mind was spinning with possibilities. “We probably have to deliver these to some ancient powerful spellcasters or something,” Ooh! What if the old lady Regan was hearing was trapped inside the cookies and delivering the basket to the wizard would unlock a— wait, shoot, Regan didn’t believe in magic. “Or um, ya know, those crooks who pretend they can do tricks and all?” she air quoted ‘tricks’. “Actually, maybe it’s a prank”.

—

The old woman’s voice croaked with coldness, making Regan’s arms prickle with gooseflesh. She muttered the woman’s words, repeating them only because they had an important weight to them. Not that Regan believed they were anything truly impactful, of course. “She’s still going, Um, she says… by hearth and flame, by night and day? What? What does that mean? Oh, let warmth from ovens fade away. I still don’t– oh, there’s more. Uh, from flour and sugar, cold be born, and let cookies chill from dusk til morn.” Regan paused because the voice seemed to be done now. She blinked at the absurdity of the situation. “Jade, why am I hearing poetry about cookies from an invisible old lady who feels dead?” But Regan had convinced herself she remained sane even after Terramoist and the human simulations, so was this really much stranger? The voice seemed to take a final breath and then fade away, a cold chill biting Regan’s already cold skin.

Jade really had a way of melting Regan’s concern away (or… maybe that was just being distracting). “It’s probably nothing. So many things in this town are nothing, you know. Just turn your head away and they disappear.” Just like how she wasn’t a banshee anymore. “I’ll make you whatever cookies you want– sugar, chocolate chip, marrow, you name it.” Hold on, Jade could hear her too? Something about that sounded like a lie – Jade’s honesty wasn’t what she claimed it to be. “That is not what she said. What old lady are you listening to?” Regan narrowed her eyes at Jade, but she could still feel death pulsing nearby, and a chill from the disembodied old woman’s voice lingered in the air. Regan was a little uneasy when she took Jade’s hand, though the warmth of her skin cut through her uncertainty. She looked back at the basket they were leaving behind, still stuffed full of inviting cookies. Maybe they should have taken them – the worms outside the cabin might have enjoyed the nourishment.

“We both know curses are nonsense. Not even in the realm of pseudoscience, like a lot of this town’s fascinations. Just utter nonsense. But…” But what? “I think we could use some cookies now, so I’ll listen to my bone partner just this once. Not these cookies, by the way. I wouldn’t eat anything that the old woman baked. She doesn’t even have a body.” Regan harrumphed. “And here I thought we’d find just that. A disappointment. Hm. So roadkill first, then cookies.” She gave Jade a playful jab with her elbow as they walked out the common. “Decomposition always stimulates the appetite.”

[eradicatetehnormal]

Just Saw Deadpool and Wolverine

So I guess I'll start with the negatives:

I don't know if it was because I saw it with my grandma, or if I just wasn't in the mood, but the sex jokes tired me out quickly, which is weird considering stuff I like, such as Viziepop cartoons. It felt like there were way more of them, and some of them, like the one with Wade negotiating how he's going to be pegged, went on a little long. I do admit that part of it could just be that my state of mind won't allow me to enjoy necrophilia jokes.

I feel like Wade didn't really learn anything. Like, we see a memory of Venessa telling him off for being irresponsible and only being as big as himself, but in the end, he's still being selfish. He pushes Wolverine out of the room even though he tells Wade he has nothing to go back to and after that he says it's for the good of everyone. This is self-pity. Even now, he's still mostly thinking about himself. It makes the scene where it looks like he and Venessa might make amends feel silly, which kind of leads into my next point.

It's 2024, I'm 20 and officially out of my teen years. It's the future and I'm too old for this shit. What shit you might ask? Pseudo-gay relationships. If you're going to be gay, go all the way with it. Stop playing Wade's pansexuality as a joke. Just have him and Logan hate fuck, dude. This is already an R-rated movie, so nobody gets to say you're grooming their snot-nosed brats with it.

So what Did I enjoy?:

I can definitely see some people feeling as though it made the movie feel shallow, but I do like the metanarrative with Deadpool being the MCU's final saving grace. I'm sick of Marvel movies dude, and you probably are too. I haven't been excited about a Marvel film since Endgame, Maybe Shang-Chi, but honestly, I don't know if I would've gone to see that on my own.

Even if I don't think it holds any water in the long run, it's nice to see Marvel acknowledge its criticisms and the problems it's created, and I appreciate the end credits not teasing anything.

Also, saying all this, no one is above nostalgia. I lost my shit when I saw Blade. Okay? This movie has not made me excited for Marvel again, but I will absolutely come to the theater if/when? they release a Blade movie. Although, the way that scene was played, it kind of seemed like that wasn't going to happen...

As irritated as I was with the way Wade and Logan's relationship was handled, I still enjoyed it overall. The thing characters do when they sacrifice themselves for each other and won't let the other one go out on their own? I love that shit, I'm a sucker for it.

Also, Dogpool and Peter. That's it.

I still prefer the 2nd movie overall, but I suppose this is a worthy sequel. I'll give it a solid 7/10

[nightmaretalesofpain]

KimChay - La Forte

Set in the backdrop of Kinnporsche. Chay struggles to settle in his new life as the younger son of the minor family. With an absent Porsche, deranged mother, Chay has to navigate the dangers of the mafia world, all while struggling to fit in at university.

@satursticket - for you

Genre: smut, gay love, mafia, heartbreak, bl, boys' love, homosexuality, underworld

Chapter two - 

My big brother was staring at my face, giggling, while I glowered at him. Kinn sat next to him, eating his lunch, while the older brother, the nut case, was screaming at the TV upstairs about how his life was ruined because Lee Joong Ki died in some crappy TV show. I recommended that movie to him so that he'd shut the hell up and leave me alone. 

Kinn and Porsche were amused at this, but they also marvelled at my ability to be so cruel. My head was still aching, as I hadn’t recovered since last week. 

"So, Chay, I heard that you are hanging out with Lily. And you even stayed over at our old place. Should I be informed about something?" my brother teased, and I dropped the spoon on the table. I lost my appetite. 

The pervert brother of mine had no idea what I went through last week, and he has the audacity to ask me whether I was the one dating. The fucking freak. If only he knew. 

"I had no idea you were this close. I mean, you grew up together, when did love blossom?" he continued, grinning.

"Who's Lily?" asked Kinn, playing along. 

"Our neighbour who lives down the street. She and Chay go to the same school. They used to play together when they were kids. Who knew that one day love would blossom between friends?" 

My brother was the dumbest man on the planet, and so was his boyfriend. How the hell is it that neither of them knew or suspected that I was previously involved with the youngest son of the mafia boss of this household and that Lily was so bitter about her love being stolen by Janward that she had sworn off men permanently? 

I shook my head. "She's mad at me. She's not even talking to me," I informed them, earning their attention. 

"What did you do?" asked Kinn, amused. 

"She hates me. She loathes me enough to run away at the mere sight of my reflection," I revealed. It was upsetting; my friend was scared to talk to me and was furious with me after what happened last Friday. She pretended that I didn't exist. The friend who would buy me lunch and cheer me up, was avoiding me like I was the COVID virus. She refused to be anywhere near me. I would most certainly cry if she kept this up. As it is I had a few friends and Lily was the only one who got me.

My brother gave me a concerned glance. "Chay, you're a good kid. There must be some misunderstanding. Lily has been your friend for years," 

Yeah, and you and your mafia boyfriend ruined it.

"Did something happen the night you stayed over at our house?"

"Did your minions report that to you? Didn't they tell you the whole story? I guess they aren't good at their job."

Porsche is worried about my demeanour now. I was mean and angry at him, which was rare. 

"Chay, do you want to talk about this?"

"No. Lily abhors me. And instead of going shopping with me and taking me to the salon, she's going to the hair stylist with Thanapan !" I declared, annoyed. Luke Thanapan was her gay cousin. He recently came out to society and was ready to make his debut officially as a gay man.

I continued eating, as my brother fretted over my alleged heartbreak. Hah, too late, brother. 

I bet he came up with a hundred scenarios as to why 'my girl' was mad at me. I'm sure one of the reasons included something sex-related, the moron. 

"Give her flowers. Send her a big bouquet of flowers," he stated, and I gazed at him like he was a buffoon. "Wait for her to cool down. Have a conversation when she's ready. No matter what she is mad about, send her flowers and apologise. Go to her place and deliver them yourself. Or go to her workplace and wait until her shift ends," he advised. 

My God, this nincompoop believed that this was some lover's quarrel that I had to sort out. She's batshit scared of me; why the hell would she even talk to me? She's worried for her safety. 

"I tried that; it didn't work. And Lily doesn't like flowers. She likes money." I answered, drinking the soup. 

"Give a bouquet with money," suggested Kinn. My God, this man had absolutely no clue how to pursue or apologise to women. Thank God he's gay. 

"Lily will kill me if I do that. She's fiercely independent. She doesn't need any man's help."

"Help her get a new job. Encourage her and motivate her. That way she'll still get it on her own, and you'll still be a reliable man in her eyes," blurted out Kinn. 

I blinked. For once, this man had a point.

"Joong Ki! I love you! How could you die? JOONG KI!" I heard the madman scream from upstairs as both of them began rubbing their temples. 

***

Lily looked like she wanted to shoot me, while simultaneously being afraid of me. We were at the salon, as Luke got his hair cut, and I was sitting next to her, on the couch. “For God’s sake man! Go away before I scream,” she hissed, livid. “Lily, I didn’t do anything to you, why would you scream?” I inquired. “Bro, your bodyguards are two feet away. I don’t want to start shit. Go away,” she said through her teeth, as her cousin was taking a selfie.

“Talk to me Lily,” I insisted. "About your concerns,”

“Bro, its not a concern, I’m in a state of shock. You are weird as hell. I knew your family had debt. Who asked you to get involved with the mafia just to avoid it? Now you are dangerous. Stay away from me and my family. I do not want to get involved with the underworld,” she declared.

“I’m not a part of the mafia,”

“Then why do you have bodyguards?”

“I don’t have a choice,”

“Neither do I. Get the hell away from me, or I’ll scream,”

Thanapan was watching us, and Lily was losing her mind.

“Hanging out with you in public is harmful for me. How do I know that one of your goons won’t kill me?”

I assured her repeatedly that my bodyguards would never harm her. But she had a counter argument. What if one of Kinn's enemies came after her to get back at Kinn?

She knew the whole story. I was the ignoramus to not realise sooner.

I was dumbstruck. I didn’t have an answer. My brother almost got killed. Tomorrow, if one of Anakinn’s enemies decides to attack either major or minor family, we’d all be dead. I recalled watching the guns, goons, and bodyguards, as I was strapped to the gurney.

Imaging Lily being kidnapped, harassed, or being subjected to even more horror was a dark thought. A realistic thought. I dropped the magazine I was holding and gulped. What if something did happen to Lily? Its not just Lily. Gary, Charlie, all of my friends would meet the same fate. They would have to go through the same agony I did, and their families would have deal with my fate. Living in fear, wondering whether my brother and I would live or die.

How did I not think of this sooner?

I could not put everyone at risk.

I remained motionless, as Lily turned pale. I saw her face as she began sweating. "You said that your bodyguards are trained in martial arts?" she questioned and I nodded. "That man has been watching us since the past hour. Either he's one of daddy's debt collectors or one of your enemies. Take a pick. But we have to decide what to do," came her low voice.

"Are you sure he's here for one of us?" I asked, and she affirmed. "Pretend to take a selfie with me. I want this dude's face for future reference," Lily said, and we took many shots with the man in the background. He tried to avoid being caught on camera. Suspicious indeed.

Lily indicated to her cousin that we had company, and he paid the bill. His pepper spray and I ife ready for use. We carefully walked out, as Lily recorded herself, pretending to go live on YouTube.

Indeed, the man followed us for a good two blocks, keeping his distance. The two bodyguards noticed as well. My face turned white as chalk, as I realised how sinister the man looked. Large, burly, black beady eyes and scar on his right eye.

Within seconds, he charged full speed ahead, ready to stab one of us. He had pulled out his large knife and the menacing look on his face made me scream.

All three of us ran at top speed, as a defense. The two bodyguards with us instantly tackled him to the ground and disarmed him. Turns out that he had a knife and a gun. Unfortunately for the bodyguards the guy was big and burly, and very agile. It took him a few seconds to slash one bodyguard's face while the other disarmed him.

Much to my horror, the man escaped as both guards chased after him. Much to our dismay, he hopped into a car and disappeared even before we could blink.

"Oh hell no. That guy was after you Chay. No loan shark is that sophisticated to plan and escape," Lily stated. Thanapan disagreed. He stated that either him or I could have been kidnapped for repayment, hence, the car.

None of us recognised the large man. Thanapan and Lily's fathers owed multiple loan sharks huge amounts of money. Both had mentioned stalking and threatening them. But kidnapping was was an extreme move.

All three of us were convinced that the man had a murderous intent. He either planned to hurt one of us and kidnap us, or kill us. To prove a point. Either way, all of us were frightened out of our wits.

[babybatscreationsv2]

I watched Deadpool and Wolverine and I have thoughts

Spoiler buffer for people with notifications on

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First of all

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ELEKTRA

I cannot believe I saw my girl Elektra again and yes I would have cried and thrown up if they killed her. If Blade and Gambit are both getting a new movie where's Elektra's?? I say we riot. And I'm only a little bit kidding. Spider-Man needs a new mother figure after all. How about an Elektra/Jessica Drew team up? OMG I'm just realizing they could have put her in the canceled Shang-Chi film. Does the Hand never face off with the Ten Rings? You would think a couple of a martial artist gangs would have a rivalry. We could have been shipping Elektra and Xialing 😭

Okay actual movie thoughts

Yes the car scene was in fact a sex scene and I don't even think that's even debatable. You can't tell me Hugh Jackman threw his head back like that and groaned like he was fucking cumming and it wasn't an analogy for sex and then following it up with a pan away/sunset shot? It was 100% an ode to the many gay writers who hid their desire to penetrate another man through swords, guns, and fangs. Bram Stoker would be proud

Do not watch this movie if you're uncomfortable with inappropriate sexual touching, or language for that matter. Everyone's getting sexually assaulted and it's a joke every time, but at least they call it what it is I guess?

I feel like the amount of graphic sex jokes was to cover for the fact that they were told not to joke too much about drug use. Although choosing to joke about how they can't do coke was possibly my favorite joke, don't ask me why

They sure did let that little people joke in there though... yikes. Disney is really begging people with dwarfism to jump their asses this year

The weakest part of the film was definitely the villain dialog. I guess they didn't want any big plot twisty reveals because man these dudes came out monologing and like who asked? Nobody. Why are they talking so much?

I have a genuine love for Happy becoming the new Stan Lee cameo. I just love that man as a character and it feels right that he has a hand in everything.

I saw someone on here pouting about the photo of Tony and Peter together and how Peter's face was covered BUT ACTUALLY it's a running gag in the comics that Deadpool can't see Spider-Man's face or hear his name. Even if Peter takes his mask off right in front of him the "Marvel censors" hide it from Wade and I hope to god that's why they covered it because it'll be so damn funny if and when they're both in a film together

Speaking of funny, the comedy in this film was so well done. They poured most of the jokes out in the first act and left room for the movie and the characters to be taken seriously. I'm here praying that the other Marvel writers take notes because while I'm a very emotional person who requires comic relief to get through most movies without crying, we all know the humor in Marvel films is getting to be a bit much.

I was holding my breath during the big team up thinking it was going to be Deadpool 2/Suicide Squad all over again, but they actually got to have their hero moment and it was beautiful.

But WTF? Why did Blade and Gambit get a big moment where they show off their skills but Elektra gets half the screen time during the fight and her moment is just her kicking someone? She has magic ninja abilities?? She could have also done something cool?? The martial arts stuff was cool in her stand alone film, it doesn't impress in a crowd of people who know how to fight. At least let her skillfully throw her sais or something, damn.

And how good is Channing Tatum as Gambit? I'm not a Channing Tatum fan or anything, but damn does he nail it.

NICEPOOL I love Nicepool, I have no idea what Deadpool variants exist in the comics because I actually hate multiverse stuff that isn't spiderverse, BUT it's canon that if Deadpool were to stop killing people that he would become pretty again and I love that there's a universe where's he just insanely nice and handsome mostly because I don't think they would ever make a Spider-Man/Deadpool film so at least we acknowledged that this happens, sorta, they don't really talk about why he's pretty and our Deadpool isn't

I love how it was a Deadpool film, but also everyone got their moment. It was barely even about him. He was the vehicle through which Wolverine and Nova and Laura got to tell their stories and it worked really well

I also feel like Wade getting Johnny killed felt weird and mildly out of character. He's an asshole, not a sadist. There's a big difference. If they wanted him dead to get rid of Chris Evans and still have their cameo, it didn't have to be Wade's fault

Wade and Logan recognizing Chris's face as belonging to Steve also sets a precedent for RDJ playing Doom. (It also means that yes people in universe will recognize him and angst will happen, I'm still crossing my fingers that there's multiple Dooms)

I give the whole thing a 4/5 had a good time, few complaints

[kajaono]

While talking about Ilsa in the newest MI movie I heard the argument multiple times: „authors are not obligated to write for their audience. Stop complaining.“ if you really think like that you have a really romanized view of Hollywood and being an author in general. Being an author is a job. Of course authors have creative freedom but they can also not do everything they want. Do you think RTD brought Rose Tyler back at the end of season 4 because he wanted to?! No because the studio told him to do it.

I guess what people actually want to say is: „a movie doesn’t have to please the audience.“ which is a HUGE difference compared with the statement above.

The point is: I do not expect a movie to please all my wishes. If it happens that is amazing but if it doesn’t happen, I am also cool with it. That’s the risk of being a fan.

BUT: an author still writes for his audience, in one way or another. Because every genre has a specific audience, and every establish franchise has a specific audience that an author has to please somehow. An author can not suddenly write a idk romantic comedy for his action audience.

Look at Loki. Marvel always wanted to get rid of him, again and again and again. They tried it one last time with Infinity War. But fans were so upset they had to bring him back once again and now he even has his own show

Or this tiny dog from Scooby doo. the audience hated him so much that the network had to get rid of him pretty quick.

The audience has a certain influence on what is presented on screen and imo that is good. If we wouldn’t Hollywood and storytelling would never change and evolve. If you publish a story you will always have audience feedback and if you are writing for a big studio you have really strict regulations. And the studios pay really close attention to Fan wishes, because that’s how they make money eventually

Does it feel like a cheat code? Definitely but sometimes you have to use companies greet to establish a certain influence.

But why is that relevant you might ask? First at all, I totally get that some people are totally okay with not having influence all, and that’s okay. But if we would never raise our voice gays would still be buried, women would still be replaceable sex object, people of color would be still villanized and men wouldn’t be allowed to show vulnerablity.

I like the certain influence we have and sometimes I have no problem to use it. Not to influence the course of a story but to spread awareness how we treat certain groups of society. If you like that or not is a completely different discussion imo.

So CMQ killing of Ilsa and insisting that she is dead for real is such a weird movie. Idk if it is was his choice or if the studio came up to him and asked him to write a new female character, that could eventually replace Ethan as the lead of MI. Whatever it was I think they underestimated the fan reactions when they decided to kill off Ilsa. Because when you look at the recent promotion for MI7 Ilsa is suddenly everywhere. I am going bold for a moment and would say they heard us. At least the marketing department.

And I am pleased. Write what you want CMQ but please free us if the boring trope of replaceable women in action movies. And I will keep on being loud about that. No matter what some people might say about that.